I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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