he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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