im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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