In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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