Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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