i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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