drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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