I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
