I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
