It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
