Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
