Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
