whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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