Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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