I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
