It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
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i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
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I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.