Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!