Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."

Fav 13 4724 939
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

Fav 13 2993 1218
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??

Fav 12 1071 2340
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

Fav 374 3638 9021
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.

Fav 29 5228 1008
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

Fav 52 2749 8375
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools

Fav 10 4304 1062
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.

Fav 1 582 505
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.

Fav 2 767 423
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT