if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.