well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
operation have a gay friend backfired
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.