If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
