You're so nebulous sometimes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
