Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
