I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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