idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
