Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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