it was like his penis was on wheels.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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