If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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