literally had 100 drinks last night.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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