Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
