i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
