he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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