you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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