I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize