apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i believe in u and ur pee
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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