You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
