Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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