My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
