I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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