Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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