how can u be prego again
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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