He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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