You're my little dorito
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
