party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
