You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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