I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
