the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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