I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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