I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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