Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
