Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
