This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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