"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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