Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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