Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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