Grow some girl-balls and come out already
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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