Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize