Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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