Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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