yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
