Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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