She's JV to your varsity
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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