Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize