No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
